I ♥ Camionetas!

On our venture to the beach we took a camioneta from Xela to Reu, and then from Reu to Champerico. At first I thought that camionetas in Guatemala were way better than those in other Central American countries, since I hadn’t seen a single animal on the bus, but not so. First, almost all bus stations are cheek to jowl with the city market, adding to the ambiance of absolute chaos, mixing the smells of diesel exhaust, decomposing veggies and animals. The terminal is filled with dozens of garishly painted school buses, often with images of Jesus or Mary, and religious slogans painted on the front, belching black fumes. As soon as you (a white person) step off the bus, someone will ask you where you want to go, and lead you, at a run, to the appropriate bus. Then you wait, on the bus, in the terminal, until the bus fills.

During this time, all sorts of people parade onto the bus, selling their wares. Often, beggars come onto the bus and tell their hard luck tales, hoping for a few quetzals. You also get Evangelical preachers on the bus. As a group, Guatemaltecos enjoy pomp and circumstance, and be very long winded and repetitive in speech. We had a minister on the bus from Reu to Champerico who went on for the better part of an hour, saying “Thanks to El Señor for guiding this bus, Thanks to El Señor for guiding these people, Thanks to El Señor for guiding this driver,” and “Open your eyes to El Señor, open your arms to El Señor, open your doors to El Señor,” and so on and so forth. Overlaid over all of this is music, be it ranchero, banda, reggaeton, or old US pop hits, blaring from the speakers strapped to the ceiling of the bus, and the sounds of the mass of people, packed three to a seat, babes in arms.

There’s no such thing as too many people on a camioneta. Each driver has an assistant, who hangs his head out the door to call the stops and spot passengers, packing the people in, collecting the fares, and climbing up on the roof of the bus for the luggage, usually while it is moving at breakneck speeds. As it turns out, in Guatemala people just wrap their chickens up, so that they fall asleep, for bus trips. Pigs and dogs are obliged to ride on the roof, along with all manner of vegetables, luggage and bikes.

The system is incredibly efficient and fills an important economic niche. It reuses old school buses (and pop hits) from the US and the 1980s, which would otherwise be on their last legs. It transports tons astounding numbers of people and their possessions, to the absolute ends of the earth, for about 70¢ an hour. You never have to wait long for a bus, because the empty buses race ahead to pick up passengers. The system also supports thousands of vendors and beggars. All of this is made possible by a lack of environmental and worker protections. It always amuses me that proponents of neoliberalism and deregulation are basically arguing for a camioneta system. Did Milton Friedman know what he was advocating?