Squirt the Sea Turtle

Today, when I went to unpack my bag, I realized that I had been robbed! On one of the many bus journeys I took yesterday, one of the ayudantes must have opened my pack, and pulled out the bundle on top. Their loot was all of my underwear and my swimsuit. While I was annoyed, I also found it rather funny. After all the US Department of State warned me that Guatemala was a treacherous, dangerous place. They just didn’t tell me my underwear would end up in a market somewhere.

Undeterred, I set off to surf. But surfing topless presents some unique problems when you fall off your surfboard. Because, as it turns out, I absolutely suck at surfing. I got wailed on over and over again until the wind kicked up, and my instructor declared that it was time to go in, lest I drown with my lousy surfing.

So I spent ventured over to the neighboring tortugaria. For a small donation the ranger gave me a bucket of baby turtles to release. I spent the entire afternoon sitting in the sun, racing my baby turtles to the ocean and playing out Finding Nemo dialogue. The Guatemalans must have thought me absolutely insane, but as it turns out pretend sea turtle surfing is almost more fun than real surfing.

Squirt: Good afternoon. We're gonna have a great jump today. Okay, first crank a hard cutback as you hit the wall. There's a screaming bottom curve, so watch out. Remember: rip it, roll it, and punch it.